Why I am Happily Confused Between Art and Design ?

I don't know what came to my mind to choose the art and design field as my future. Maybe, I was facinated towards this thing (Art & Design), maybe i wasn't. But I can say this thing surely that fascination towards something is not the sole reason for someone's inclination towards something. For example, I am fascinated towards singing and dancing too. But, I can't dance and can't even sing. At a point, where I've to decide between :

Engineering 

Medical

Accountancy(Commerce)

Arts

I was totally lost. I have never thought of that thing before because we Punjabis have the tendency to say always 

"Koi na jad time aunga ta vekh lavange"

means

"We'll see when time arrives"

But when this big question mark chased me, I had nowhere to run. Kinda funny I got state merit in 10th and I wasn't aware of What I Wanted to do, in which stream wanted to continue? At last, I chose Arts. Some people declared me mad, because being in state merit everyone expected me to choose Non-Medical. But they all would perhaps never know that under which  conditions and circumstances, I got that state merit position. I didn't wanted to go that captured environment again from where I got free. I got admission in Arts field. Slowly slowly i saw Arts field getting diversified into unlimited oppurtunities. And I was again at the same point, where to go? I tried photography, I tried Graphic Designing, I tried painting. Man, I was doing good in all those things. But, I was still confused between only Art and only Design, but I was happy. No confusion ever gave me such liberty. I continued my journey. I also had tough time to survive in this journey of mine, but I did. That thing boosted my confidence. I still don't know what's that single thing I want to do, but is it necessary always to choose one thing between multiple things.

I am happy to be in this confusion and I can feel happy and fresh with this confusion in my mind. So nothing is wrong in saying that I am confused. I am still happy and remember some confusions don't spoil your mind.

What I Don't Want To Be.....

I don't know where to start from. Every person in his/her life thinks that, what should he/she want to be in his life. I don't think nobody ever thought of  what he/she don't want to be. So, it's a kinda difficult subject to write down about What I Don't Want To Be In My Life.

First of All, i don't want to be the part of the system in which I am living, coz it sucks you, your mind and gives you back mere frustration, nothing else. I don't want to be the person who is living the same life everyday, means the bounded life which is captured into a single routine (home to office and office to home).

I don't want to be the person who has no innovation or thought of freedom in his mind, whose every task is meant to fulfill some of his basic necessities. I don't want to be that person whose basic necessities are just food, water, air and some work to fulfill the above three necessities. I don't want to be the slave of some work, Bcoz when a work starts controlling your mind, you can't innovate. I don't want to be an engineer, bcoz i know that i can't do it, i can't innovate in it. I don't want to be a doctor, bcoz i know if I would be a doctor, some people will be surely dead. I don't want to be an accoutant. There's no reason for that why i don't want to be an accountant. I think, you don't need a reason everytime you reject or neglect something. I don't want to be the reason for someone's happiness. I don't want to be the person running behind perfection, without doing anything. I don't want to be the strongest person, bcoz i don't want to be a threat for anyone. I also don't want to be the weakest person. I don't want to be the tallest person. Also, i don't want to be the shortest person. I don't want to be the richest person, Also don't wanna to be the poorest person. I don't want to work just for earning money, I want to make people feel happy on seeing my work. I don't want to be a follower. I don't want to be the presenter of this mentally captured or mentally handicapped world to our future generations. I don't want to be a pure theist or pure atheist. I don't want to run from my questions, which arise in my mind, bcoz if i wouldn't be able to help myself to solve my problems, then how could i'd be able to help others to solve their problems. Above all, I don't want to be called just a photographer, just a painter, just a graphic designer, bcoz I don't want my art to get bound behind some certain or specific words. 

At last, I just wanna say that I don't want to be M.F. Hussain, Ram Kumar, Tyeb Mehta, Raghu Rai, Prabuddha Dasgupta or any other famous person, I just want to be Shubham Aggarwal bcoz I am happy with the name my parents gave me. I don't want my identity to get lost behind such big names. Maybe, someday some other person like me must be writing my name in the above written names, I just wrote.

बर्निंग डिजायर  ( Burning Desire )

वो एक बूँद का लबों को छूना , तपती गर्मी में वो सुकून का एहसास , शायद कभी ना कभी सभी को हुआ होगा | कितना अजीब है, तपती गर्मी के एहसास को सिर्फ एक बूँद ही कुछ क्षण के लिए सुकून दे गयी |  भटके मुसाफिर को पानी की प्यास है, शराबी को शराब की प्यास है, गायक को लफ्जों की प्यास है, गरीब को पैसे की प्यास है, बच्चे को प्यार की प्यास है | प्यास तो सिर्फ मुंह सुखाती है, प्यास का एहसास रूह को सूखा कर देता है | शुभम अगरवाल

The touch of a drop with lips, that feeling of relaxation in the scorching heat, everyone must have experienced it. How strange it is, to find relaxation for a moment with a single drop in scorching heat. A lost traveller is thirsty for water, drunker is thirsty for liquor, singer is thirsty for words, poor is thirsty for money, a child is thirsty for love etc. Thirst only makes the mouth dry but the feeling/realization of thirst dries the soul.
Shubham Aggarwal